Pick a Sentence, Any Sentence
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Did you know there are only three sentences in the English language? In any language, really. Okay, maybe there are five, but really that’s just splitting hairs.
What am I talking about? The nitty girtty. The down and dirty.
Okay, the really nerdy.
Yep, that’s right - I’m talking about syntax.
Ugh, yes?
No, actually, pretty darn cool, if you get right down to it. And it’s true. There are only three sentences.
They are:
1) The woman screamed.
2) The woman was dead.
3) The police dredged the lake.
(There’s also: 4) My man stole me a diamond and 5) The girl got taken hostage. but some say they don’t count.)
Is everyone having flashbacks to second grade yet? Wait, before you click away, just remember this:
80% of your writing should be sentence #3. That’s subject, verb, direct object, my dears. If your writing is flagging, has no oomph, lacks pizazz, check your sentence structure. Chances are, you’re at something less than 80% of Sentence #3.
Really. Try it and see.
Now, to win a really dorky prize (a used copy of Strunk and White’s Elements of Style and a few of my own terribly witty contributions to their examples), just do the following - tell us all what the structure of each of the other sentences I mentioned is - sentences 1, 2, 4 and 5. I’ll randomly choose from the correct answers (if there are that many) and mail that gem off to the lucky syntactition!