P-day is one week away. One week until the backboard, the bibliography, and the process paper are turned in. One week until the school project is finished and the whole family breathes a sigh of relief.
Until the next due date.
You see, we’ve got several long-term projects in the works. There’s something for everyone—history, science, language arts. Pick your poison, I mean pleasure, of course.
Last year my daughter’s teacher shared these rules for homework and long-term projects. Since they seem to apply to any grade or any school district, I thought I’d pass them along.
SCHOOL HOMEWORK POLICY:
Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. This time should
be budgeted in the following manner:
• 15 minutes looking for assignment
• 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment
• 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children
• 8 minutes in the bathroom
• 10 minutes getting a snack
• 7 minutes checking the TV Guide
• 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment
• 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment
LONG TERM ASSIGNMENTS:
These are given the night before they are due. This explains the name “long-
term”. It is a long-term commitment to time that begins at 9:30PM and ends
at 11:50PM—or later.
It is important that the whole family is involved in the project. It is imperative that at least one family member races to Target/Walmart/KMart for poster board, and that at least one family member ends up in tears (does not have to be the student).
One parent needs to stay up and complete the project. The other parent needs to call the school and leave a message that the student is out sick.
It is not necessary to have the student’s name on the assignment.
Sound familiar? Anything like that ever happen at your house? What projects have your kids been assigned?
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Haha, oh wow. I’m still in school, so this made me laugh. 
I am getting better though, I swear. This year is quite interesting for me–all of a sudden I’m just…organised. It’s bizarre, but there are no complaints from me!
by Kaitlin on February 20th, 2008 at 4:24 am
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I’m actually thinking of printing this out and leaving it at the kids’ places at breakfast.
by J.D. Rhoades on February 20th, 2008 at 7:23 am
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I remember searching the Walgreens which was the only store that was open(we didn’t have a super walmart at the time) for a native american type doll for my nieces diarama that was due that day.
My lack of planning, her lack of communication and the fact that my boyfriend at the time gave me bad advice which I took all worked against me that day.
by Lynn on February 20th, 2008 at 7:28 am
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Actually, I feel blessed. My three daughters are self-motivated. I guess they get that from their Dad. Since 2 are away at college and the youngest is still slotted #1 of 500+ students as a high school sophmore, I may never have that problem.
by Will Bereswill on February 20th, 2008 at 8:37 am
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I’m with Dusty. I’ll be printing it out, too. The 8-yr-old may be too young yet to see the humor, but my DH will get it.
by JennieB on February 20th, 2008 at 9:30 am
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Not to be a smart-ass, but this is one reason why I have 5 dogs and no kids…:D
by Kate Hathway on February 20th, 2008 at 9:42 am
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LOL, I’m so so so glad I homeschool, but I still saw some parallels in the list - the disappearing into the bathroom, especially during Math, for instance. ;o)
by B.E. Sanderson on February 20th, 2008 at 9:47 am
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Mine wasn’t so much an assignment as it was timing thing. We live out in the country and the last thing I wanted to do when I got home from work was have to drive back into town. It never failed on the day that I was beat, my daughter would come home and say, “My teacher says I have to have a ________ (fill in the blank) tomorrow for a project we’re doing. If I don’t bring it, I’ll get an F.”
And usually it was something stupid, but it was ALWAYS something we didn’t have at home.
by Tricia S. on February 20th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
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Kaitlin, it’s nice when things come together, isn’t it? Didn’t happen for me until college. Come to think of it, college was definitely the best part of my educational career.
by Sara on February 20th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
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J.D,. what was their reaction? My kids thought it was hilarious. There’s always some truth in humor.
by Sara on February 20th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
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“searching the Walgreens which was the only store that was open(we didn’t have a super walmart at the time) for a native american type doll”
This sounds so familiar, Lynn, except for me it was foam board, which is fairly easy to find—thank goodness.
by Sara on February 20th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
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Wow, Will, sounds like you’ve got some great kids!
by Sara on February 20th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
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“And usually it was something stupid, but it was ALWAYS something we didn’t have at home.”
Hi Tricia. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. It’s always something like…toothpicks.
by Sara on February 20th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
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Oh, and the only fair way to determine who goes to the store (Mom or Dad) to retrieve said stupid object is do Rock, Paper, Scissors. Best two out of three. It was the only way to keep me from pouting all the way to town.
by Tricia S. on February 20th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
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Hi Sara I was just catching up with you and read this it is perfect timing for our house. My oldest just finished a huge project in Science on “Can alternate power sources(potato battery) be used to conduct the Copper Plating Process? Happy to report she got an “A”. Oh, points were taken away becuase we had the wrong size poster board. The first project of this year in Science was on Silverware. They weighed them and measured them and then she had to come up with an Hypothesis. Proud to report she does these on her own because she has gone passed what I am capable of helping her. I can help in Social Studies and Math, Science I have to leave to her and her Dad.
by Jennifer on February 25th, 2008 at 10:22 am
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