The Good Girls Kill For Money Club

I Wanna Be Sedated

How do you feel about general anesthesia?

Early last week, I went to the dentist to get a wisdom tooth removed. It wasn’t impacted, and was supposed to be simple to get out. But after a brutal forty-five minute struggle we had to admit defeat. The tooth was going nowhere. And just to prove the point, it broke during a last-ditch attempt to force it from my jaw. There was only one thing to do.

The dentist crammed my mouth full of gauze, gave me a prescription, and set up an emergency appointment with an oral surgeon.

Now. None of this surprised me in the least. Not one little bit. See, I’ve always known that if I had to get my wisdom teeth pulled it would be a fiasco. It’s been one of my favorite fears for as long as I can remember. I even dream about it when I’m anxious. Which is pretty silly given the fact that I’ve never, never, never had any problems with my teeth. But since when is dread supposed to be rational?

You know how they say that facing your fears makes you stronger? That it’s never as bad as you worry it could be?

They lie.

I dragged myself to the nearest CVS, which just happens to be across the street from Brilliant Scientist’s office, and I put in a panicked call to him. He filled the Rx for me–didn’t think that my bruised and swollen cheek and split lips were fit for public consumption, and no amount of gauze was going to keep the bleeding in check. I was quite a sight.

So I pop some codeine. I’ve got almost five hours to kill before I go to the surgeon, and I figure I’ve got at least half an hour before the Novocaine wears off. Naturally, I beg Brilliant Scientist to take me to Borders, and in my drugged state it’s even more like heaven on earth than usual. It’s paradise. Nirvana. Every good thing.

But it can’t last. In case you were wondering, codeine is about as effective as water when it comes to stopping the pain of a half-removed tooth. Those exposed roots? Excruciating. I thought–wished–I would die before salvation came.

This is medicine, though, right? So you know there’s not going to be a quick and simple outcome here. Brilliant Scientist drives Drug Girl to the office, where I spend an hour filling out forms (with blood trickling from my lips). I also tell the surgeon to remove all my wisdom teeth, not just the stubborn one, because there is no way in hell I’m ever going through this again. Finally, six hours after I’d left my original dentist appointment, the goddess I call Anesthesiologist put me out of my misery.

I’ve never been knocked out before. It’s freaky. One minute you’re lying there, with a couple of people hovering above you, and the next thing you know you’re still lying there, but in a different room with the same people hovering over you, but enormous amounts of time have passed unnoticed by you. It’s unsettling. Seeing double doesn’t add to the general comfort of the situation. An hour went by and I had no part of it. I had no awareness–not even a feeling that I was going to fall asleep. Not sure that I really liked it. I’m no fan of losing all mental capacity. It’s unnerving.

Once I woke up they ushered me out, and Brilliant Scientist (who really should be called Future Nobel Winner–he deserves one in Peace as well as Medicine after tending to me on narcotics) filled my new and improved prescription. Meprozine. Wow. Meprozine. Talk about having your coherence removed. For the better part of a week I was like a character from Trainspotting, lying in bed, aware of pretty much nothing, watching DVD box sets over and over, forcing myself to eat soup.

And the best part? It still freaking hurts. My advice? Keep your wisdom teeth!

However, now that I’ve been downgraded from the heavy-duty narcotics, I can let myself indulge in a nice, relaxing adult beverage. Maybe that would be just the thing to help dull the pain left by the apparently useless ibuprofen I’m popping in large quantities every four hours. Good thing that we’ve got someone with us today who can point me in the right direction.

J.D. Rhoades’ latest Jack Keller book, Safe and Sound, is his best yest–and that’s saying something. Because let me tell you, Dusty can write a story that will grip you like few others. I love sitting down with his books, knowing that while I’m reading, nothing’s going to be able to distract me. And, really, is there anything better than getting sucked into a novel like that? Sure beats hours lost to anesthesia…

DUSTY: This drink recipe is for a Dark N’ Stormy, and I learned it from our mutual friend, writer and rum connoisseur Bob Morris.

(If you don’t already read Bob’s blog, check it out here.)

2 oz Gosling’s® Black Seal rum
4 oz ginger beer (preferably Barritt’s but good luck finding that here).
Lime
Mix ingredients together in an old-fashioned glass over cracked ice, and serve.

Note that Gosling’s has trademarked the name Dark N’ Stormy, so that if you use any other type of rum and try to call the drink by that name, Bermudian Lawyers will deliver Stern Letters to you, and nobody wants that.

KRISTY: Any decent new music out there you like?

DUSTY: I’m a huge Fountains of Wayne fan. I call them the Secret Masters of Pop, because they seem to have effortlessly mastered the art of the musical hook that gets in your brain and won’t get out. And their lyrics are a hoot.

My son introduced me to a band from Canada called The Weakerthans, who do these wonderfully offbeat songs. There’s one called “Pamphleteer” which may be one of the most poignant story songs I’ve ever heard.

NATHAN: Dusty, you are a role model for a great number of young children in this country. What do you say to concerned parents who fear that their little ones who look up to you and idolize Jack Keller are showing signs of becoming tormented combat vets-cum-renegade bounty hunters themselves?

DUSTY: Send them to me. I’ll set them straight. Plus, I need someone to wash my car.

KRISTY: Besides the dynasty thing (which I agree with) WHY Obama over Hilary?

DUSTY: Hoo-boy, you really want to open THAT can o’worms? Okay, here goes. I like Obama over Hillary mainly because of these lines from his Democratic convention speech:

“…there’s not a liberal America and a conservative America — there’s the United States of America. There’s not a black America and white America and Latino America and Asian America; there’s the United States of America. The pundits like to slice-and-dice our country into Red States and Blue States; Red States for Republicans, Blue States for Democrats. But I’ve got news for them, too. We worship an awesome God in the Blue States, and we don’t like federal agents poking around our libraries in the Red States. We coach Little League in the Blue States and have gay friends in the Red States. There are patriots who opposed the war in Iraq and patriots who supported it. We are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America.”

After the divisiveness of the last few years, after Ann Coulter calling all criticism of the government “treason” and Bill O’Reilly saying he was willing to give San Francisco over to terrorist attack because he didn’t like a vote their city council took, I think that’s the message and that’s the leadership we need.

NATHAN: Dusty, surely you agree that all these librul bloggers are gettin’ a bit big for their britches. What do you suppose we should do with these traitors?

1. Shewt ‘em.
2. Send ‘em back to Whateverstan where they came from.
3. Hang ‘em high 4. Oooooooo! Glenn Beck is on! Gotta go!

DUSTY: Well them damn liberal courts keep saying you can’t just make ‘em disappear, because the courts, as you know, support terror and want Saddam back in power. So I’d go with B. No, C. Maybe A. Whatever.

KRISTY: Jay Leno loves the Keller series so much that he calls you up and offers you the choice of one of two cars from his collection. Do you take the Toronado or the Roadmaster?

DUSTY: I’d try to hold out for one of the Dusenbergs. Those look like something you’d see Daddy Warbucks being driven around in. Of course, I’d need a top hat and matching coat. And spats. I have no idea what spats are, but I’ve always wanted some.

KRISTY: When our alien overlords finally arrive, do you think they’ll decide we’re just another form of shellfish?

DUSTY: Well, considering how many I’ve consumed, I suppose it would be proof positive that God has a very, very dark sense of humor.

J.T.: Why do they call you Dusty? You’ve always seemed so clean…

DUSTY: Har-dee-har-har. Actually, I have no idea. My parents have called me that as long as I can remember. There was a Dusty Rhoades who played for the New York Giants in the 50’s and pretty much won the World Series for them, but my folks have never been big baseball fans, let alone Giants fans, so who knows?

NATHAN: Who should play Marie Jones in the screen adaptation of Good Day in Hell? I don’t mean the awesome motion picture theatrical release that is sure to whomp all kinds of ass, but rather the crappy made-for-tv abomination that some Hollywood douchenozzle slaps together without your permission and you gotta sue ‘em. Who’d be good for that role?

DUSTY: Thanks so much for the question. For that version, I’m thinking Lisa Kudrow.

J.T.: How do you adapt and retell a lawyer joke?

DUSTY: I turn them into Republican jokes.

Actually, when you’re an attorney, lawyer jokes are one of the things you learn to live with. I have a standing bet that if anyone can tell me one I haven’t heard, I’ll buy them a drink. I have yet to have to pay off.

CELIA: What’s the most horrifying thing you’ve seen at a writers’ conference?

DUSTY: Omaha. Mayhem in the Midlands. Bachelorette Party. There were…props.

That’s all I can say. It’s still too painful.

NATHAN: I just started reading The Devil’s Right Hand. Despite what the blurbs and jacket copy lead me to believe it is not at all a warm and inspirational cozy whodunit set in a sleepy New England hamlet where a feisty feline has a nose for sleuthing. Is all the swearing and general unpleasantness really necessary? I mean really.

DUSTY: Yes. Really. Now FOAD.

ERIC: Best book you’ve read lately?

DUSTY: I assume you mean besides A Poisoned Season, by Tasha Alexander, available now at fine bookstores everywhere.

TASHA: Dusty, bless you. The check’s in the mail.

DUSTY: I just finished Jon Clinch’s Finn, which is the story of Huckleberry Finn’s vicious drunkard of a father (known only as “Pap” in the book). Sometimes these “reworkings” of classics wind up being stupid, but Clinch does a great job of seamlessly weaving what’s in the original into Pap’s backstory. And even though Finn is pretty much a monster from the first chapter, Clinch actually makes you feel for the poor bastard, even if you can’t actually like him.

NATHAN: Share with us a bit of your writing process. Please provide a few tips for the first time and wanna-be thriller novelists out there so they can rock a bit harder and suck appreciably less. The world thanks you in advance.

DUSTY: The process: Pour drink. Sit down. Open laptop. Start book. Curse myself for ever thinking I could do this. Drink more. Finish book. Send book to publisher. Drink while mourning end of writing career with this egregious piece of trash I just sent in. Get editorial notes back from publisher. Weep. Drink heavily. Rewrite. Send book back in. Collect advance. Drink till advance money is all used up. Repeat.

I trust you’ll see the common thread running through this.

Let’s all show Dusty our appreciation for his never-ending wit by buying multiple copies of his books. Got it? Good. And when you’re done with that, answer his questions for you:

Have y’all seen Dennis Kucinich’s wife? How the hell did the little gremlin pull THAT off?

Which movie remake of the last fifteen years did the world need least?

J.K. Rowling is now supposedly turning to crime fiction. Good thing or bad thing?

Has something in a work of fiction ever upset you enough that you wrote the author an angry letter? How about an e-mail?

That’s it for now. I’m sorry to say I’ve got no plans for next week at the moment. Because, frankly, if my mouth doesn’t stop hurting I’ll probably have thrown myself in front of a truck before Friday. I can, however, offer you a sneak peek at the cover of my next book, Elizabeth: The Golden Age. Just pretend you can’t see the notations made by the studio for revisions…

xo
Tasha

50 Responses to “I Wanna Be Sedated”

Yes, the clock is right, it is 1:15 am, and my Dad’s plane is delayed until 1:45 (grrr…) so I’m trolling blogs I’ve already read six times today. Sigh.
Thank God Dusty and Tasha arrived to make me laugh. I still adore Trainspotter Tasha, drooling, whacked out on drugs. We should make a doll. So highly out of character it’s automatically amusing, though the pain is not.

Dusty, your formula is tried and true. Your parents nickname just turns you into a lovable fuzzball. Now, on to the fun…

Have y’all seen Dennis Kucinich’s wife? How the hell did the little gremlin pull THAT off?

There is only one competent answer to this question. With ears that big, one must simply imagine what he’s hiding elsewhere, and assume she’s just one of those tactile women… get your mind out of the gutter, I’m talking about his embroidered checkbook cover.

Which movie remake of the last fifteen years did the world need least?

The Dukes Of Hazzard. Jessica Simpson? Are you kidding me?

J.K. Rowling is now supposedly turning to crime fiction. Good thing or bad thing?

Oh hell, she could light farts on fire and be a success. I’d love to see her do it, just to see what frightening real creatures crawl from her fertile depths.

Has something in a work of fiction ever upset you enough that you wrote the author an angry letter? How about an e-mail?

We can do that???
If I didn’t have to fly tonight I’d send one to the Air Traffic Controls folks and cc: Mother Nature.

by JT Ellison on August 24th, 2007 at 1:30 am
Thanks for having me here, sweetheart. Damn, sorry to hear the teeth are still giving you fits.

JT, I’m with you on the Dukes of Hazzard thing. Catherine Bach, the original Daisy, jump started my puberty and gave me a cutoff-denim-shorts fetish I have to this day. Jessica Simpson, on the other hand is like some kind of freakin’ android. Hope you’re out of the airport.

by J.D. Rhoades on August 24th, 2007 at 6:51 am
Awww, JT, you’re too nice to have found me even vaguely amusing in the past ten days. : )

Dusty, it is always a pleasure of the highest order to host you!

Have y’all seen Dennis Kucinich’s wife? How the hell did the little gremlin pull THAT off?

It’s always dangerous to underestimate a man….

Which movie remake of the last fifteen years did the world need least?

There are so many. But it would be hard (I hope) to find something worse than Dukes of Hazzard. Not that I saw it–the preview was more than enough, thank you.

J.K. Rowling is now supposedly turning to crime fiction. Good thing or bad thing?

Hey, she can do whatever she wants and good for her. I’ve only read the first two Harry Potter books–fantasy isn’t my thing–she’s doing something right. Now, I’m not precisely sure what that is, but if someone can write something that appeals to such a broad audience, it’s going to give me pause.

Has something in a work of fiction ever upset you enough that you wrote the author an angry letter? How about an e-mail?

No, but I’ve been known to send lots of letters to Senators and Congressmen…..

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 7:05 am
Oh, and JT? I’m assuming you’re not still at the airport……

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 7:23 am
Thanks for the interview, Dusty. Tasha, I’ve been putting off a trip to the oral sturgeon for awhile now. I need some root canals redone from the root, up. Your story reinforces why I’m putting it off.

I’ll pass on the first question. I guess I’m not very worldly and its too early to Google.

There are several in my remakes list that were unnecessary and bad:
War of the Worlds - Tom Cruise runs from special effects.
Dukes of Hazzard - I like Jessica in short shorts, but com-on
Bewitched - Nicole Kidman couldn’t get the nose twitch down right.

If J.K. Rowlings writes crime fiction, will it be the size of a Tom Clancy novel? Maybe she should write a remake of Sherlock Holmes?

I’m reading a novel right now. A thriller that was on the best seller list. I won’t name names, but I shot an e-mail off to our Laura Bradford with some of my problems with it, I was so mad. This person seems to do great research about certain things and then pulls stuff out of her hat on a lot of other things. Plus everybody mumbles in this book.

J.K. Rowling is now supposedly turning to crime fiction. Good thing or bad thing?

Has something in a work of fiction ever upset you enough that you wrote the author an angry letter? How about an e-mail?

by Will Bereswill on August 24th, 2007 at 7:31 am
And, Dusty, I had no idea cut-off denim shorts were so enticing. They’re my summer staple. Wearing them even now.

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 7:45 am
Words fail me.

by J.D. Rhoades on August 24th, 2007 at 7:57 am
Okay, I’m too tired to even try to respond to Dusty’s questions (a malfunctioning smoke alarm system–hooked up to electricity rather than batteries that we could have yanked out and thrown across the room–beeped on and off last night from 11:30-2:30. Every seven minutes. Once we had sniffed through the entire house and assured ourselves we were not about to be incinerated, we reset the 4 units that were blinking. 45 minutes later they gasped out their last beeps.). But, Tasha, I hope your mouth is feeling better, keep any of the drugs you don’t use (just in case), and I’ve got to put in a huge plug for the wonders of a valium IV drip. Had it once when I was having laser surgery. Whoo-boy.

by judy larsen on August 24th, 2007 at 8:12 am
Heck, Tasha, they did a one hour special on HBO about the making of Jessica’s shorts for that movie.

by Will Bereswill on August 24th, 2007 at 8:13 am
AND the HBO special was better than the movie.

by Will Bereswill on August 24th, 2007 at 8:14 am
Ahh, art…..

Somehow I find it quite easy to believe the special was better than the movie.

And, Judy? Where do I sign up for the vailum drip? That sounds PERFECT. : P

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 8:17 am
Aw, Tasha, I’m so sorry for your painful experience - I went through that about twenty years ago and thought I’d forgotten it, but your vivid descriptions brought back so much - thanks! (hee,hee)

And Dusty, I’m not much of a rum drinker, but that drink sounds good enough for me to go get the makings for this weekend. I’m doing it for the ginger beer, of course.

Have y’all seen Dennis Kucinich’s wife? How the hell did the little gremlin pull THAT off?

As a lifelong Clevelander, and having met Dennis a couple times (and his lovely wife when they came to a greyhound adoption benefit last December), he’s a passionate guy with principles (ya may think they’re dumb principles, but at least he’s got some), and he really likes dogs. Hey, if he was a foot taller, I’d have chased him years ago.

Which movie remake of the last fifteen years did the world need least?

I can’t stand Nicole Kidman, so I’m going to go with the Bewitched movie, too.

J.K. Rowling is now supposedly turning to crime fiction. Good thing or bad thing?

I’m willing to read anything she writes - I think she’s a genius.

Has something in a work of fiction ever upset you enough that you wrote the author an angry letter? How about an e-mail?

On those occasions when I’ve really disliked something I’ve read, I never thought about writing to the author. I did just recently, like Will, e-mail Laura about a book I was extremely disappointed in - of course not hers, which are not disappointing in the least! - but maybe I’ll get up the nerve to do write to the author in the future.

by Kate Hathway on August 24th, 2007 at 8:38 am
Kate, hi! Sorry to bring back unpleasant memories. : ) You make a great point about Kucinich. Whether or not you like his politics, passion and principles are a good combination. His wife’s no fool.

Oh, and Will? As for your future trip to the oral surgeon? I cannot even imagine having a root canal in the first place, let alone them having to REDO it….But I think you should DEMAND general anesthesia. Those 45 minutes when I was awake and numbed on novocaine were a complete horror show.

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 8:48 am
Yanno, I need to make that clear. I e-mailed Laura as a friend and confidant and fellow H&H author. It certainly wasn’t her book I was mad at.

by Will Bereswill on August 24th, 2007 at 8:51 am
Actually, Tasha, I had the same procedure done on a different tooth about 5 years ago. No general anesthesia. I only remember that it was no fun.

by Will Bereswill on August 24th, 2007 at 8:56 am
Will, that is just WRONG. I know you’re numb and don’t exactly feel what they’re doing, but you shouldn’t even have to be aware of the indignities being done to your person. They need to sedate you…..

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 8:58 am
Who is this Dusty Rhoades character? I think you ladies made him up.

Cut-off shorts? Tasha, after the post about the underwear, I’m having difficulty breathing. Stop that. I’m old.

OK, to the exam:

Mrs. Kucinich is God’s way of rewarding a smart, progressive man because God knows he won’t win the White house. Dammit.

I can’t think of a bigger waste of celluloid than Dukes, so I’m on that bandwagon.

JK Rowling and crime fiction? I would be happy to provide a blurb.

Nasty e-mail? No. I prefer letter bombs.

Uh, does anyone have this Dusty Rhoades character’s address?

by David Terrenoire on August 24th, 2007 at 9:04 am
Oh, other remakes to nominate:

King Kong - Jack Black runs from special effects while Naomi Watts interacts with them

Lost In Space - A supreme stinker. Matt LeBlanc will always be Joey Tribiani to me.

Psycho - Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates???

Phsyco -

by Will Bereswill on August 24th, 2007 at 9:19 am
David:

You

Are

Not

Old.

And the shorts are great. Comfortable. Perfectly broken in.

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 9:20 am
Yeah, general anesthesia is damn disconcerting. Start counting backward from 100, get to 99 and wake up with a patch over a stitched up hole in your gut. I feel for ya, Tasha.

Have y’all seen Dennis Kucinich’s wife? How the hell did the little gremlin pull THAT off?

It’s the Billy Joel-Christie Brinkley Syndrome. The man obviously has something on her.

Which movie remake of the last fifteen years did the world need least?

All of them. I don’t care how good they are. Come up with something original for god’s sake. That said, Dukes of Hazzard blew great, big, ropy goat chunks. Jessica Simpson reminds me of a post-op tranny I met in Hollywood once. Something about that jawbone. Like a freakin’ masonry block.

J.K. Rowling is now supposedly turning to crime fiction. Good thing or bad thing?

If it gets kids to start reading stories of dismembered bodies, serial killers and maladjusted, alcoholic, Scottish detectives with fidelity problems I’m all for it.

Has something in a work of fiction ever upset you enough that you wrote the author an angry letter? How about an e-mail?

Fiction? No. I just stop reading.

I did, however, get pissed off at a local news station when they decided to stake out Nicole Brown Simpson’s grave site on her birthday to see if OJ showed. I called them up and yelled at some poor schmuck on the other end of the phone for two minutes before I realized I had the wrong station.

Whatta ya want? I was drunk.

by Stephen Blackmoore on August 24th, 2007 at 9:21 am
Tasha:

Yes

He

Is.

That said, stop it with the shorts comments. It hits the young, too.

by Stephen Blackmoore on August 24th, 2007 at 9:24 am
Fine, fine, fine. Maybe I’ll just go take some more pain killers. : )

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 9:26 am
I’m so old that I know I like the thought of Tasha in cut-offs, but I don’t know why.

by David Terrenoire on August 24th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Ack! I feel for you Tasha. I hate drugs, and I hate surgery of any kind. That why I still have my wisdom teeth. They were impacted and painful, but I outwaited them, and eventually they stopped hurting. (and oddly enough, from my last x-rays, are no longer impacted. *shrug*) The last time I had general anesthesia was just like taking a nap. I was having hardware removed from my leg, and it took longer than expected. They’d given me a local and it was wearing off, so they put me under. I woke up later in the recovery room. Since I was already pretty stoned from the local, the general didn’t shock me at all. It did make me loopy and nauseous, though. Yuck.

Feel better soon. :hugs:

by B.E. Sanderson on August 24th, 2007 at 10:01 am
“And the shorts are great. Comfortable. Perfectly broken in.”

You are KILLING ME here.

by JDRhoades on August 24th, 2007 at 11:15 am
Well I wouldn’t want to KILL YOU. Do accept my most sincere apologies….

: )

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 11:20 am
If David’s old, I must be dead, but too slow to have reacted to the fact yet.

by bob on August 24th, 2007 at 11:21 am
No, no, I’m better now. Don’t quit on my account.

by J.D. Rhoades on August 24th, 2007 at 11:38 am
Ah, banter. Thank goodness some of you got enough sleep to be pithy.

Daddy’s plane arrived, with my brother and sister-in-law in tow and we got to the house at 3:45 with NO LUGGAGE.

They are going to the races in Bristol and have no clothes. I, on the other hand, and going to Florida and am now praying my bikini shows up.

And boys, lay off about Tasha’s shorts. You’re getting us girls worked up : )

by JT Ellison on August 24th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Please don’t talk about cutoffs. It reminds me of Tobias Funke, the world’s first and only professional Analrapist. And that’s not a good thing.

Glad you liked Finn, J.D.

by Jon Clinch on August 24th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
“And boys, lay off about Tasha’s shorts. You’re getting us girls worked up : )”

*head explodes*

by JDRhoades on August 24th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
All this talk about shorts and underwear and bikinis and no clothes in the suitcase has clouded up my computer screen.

by David Terrenoire on August 24th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
J.T., you can always get a new bikini if your luggage doesn\’t make it to Florida…

3:45 is OBSCENE. Just wrong. I mean, if you\’re out that late it should be because you\’re doing something untoward.

Jon, Tobias Funke? Ha. Nice to see you here.

Gee, I never knew shorts and underwear and bikinis could be quite so diverting…..

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
JT: I’m always pithy. I am LOADED with pith.

Jon: why does it not surprise me that you’re an Arrested Development fan?

David: those aren’t clouds, dude.

by JDRhoades on August 24th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
Dusty, you’re pith personified….

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
A veritable Prince of Pith, you might say.

by J.D. Rhoades on August 24th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
I think we might need to get you a t-shirt.

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
“I never knew shorts and underwear and bikinis could be quite so diverting…”

Liar.

by Stephen Blackmoore on August 24th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Well…..let’s put it this way: I had no idea that all this could be so diverting in the VIRTUAL world….

: )

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
It’s all in the mind…

by J.D. Rhoades on August 24th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
True, true. A beautiful thing, the mind….

by Tasha Alexander on August 24th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
I am now trying to stop picturing Dennis Kucinich in tight cutoffs. Thanks for that.

Do they make an emoticon animated to indicate that it’s throwing up in its mouth a little?

Great interview!!

by Cornelia Read on August 24th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
Thanks Cornelia…and I deny any responsibility for any connection you’ve made between Dennis Kucinich and tight cutoffs.

by J.D. Rhoades on August 24th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
Get better, Tasha! I was thinking of getting my wisdom teeth pulled, but now I’m totally chickening out (although I do still want the codeine).

Dusty? Lisa Kudrow is a “fine” pick. I was thinking Jeanne Tripplehorn. For some reason I just don’t like her.

*
Have y’all seen Dennis Kucinich’s wife? How the hell did the little gremlin pull THAT off?

Hell, after seeing him at the labor debate I’D marry him. He rocked the hizz-ouse. He is short and funny looking, but damn he’s awesome. Obama’s my dude, but I’d love to see Dobby–-I mean Dennis in the White House somehow. Alas . . .

Which movie remake of the last fifteen years did the world need least?

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The first is perfection and simply cannot be improved upon. All the sequels and remakes and prequels to remakes are just tarnishing the legacy of that masterpiece.

I’m not kidding. I know I should be, but I’m really not.

J.K. Rowling is now supposedly turning to crime fiction. Good thing or bad thing?

Time will tell, but if they are as subversive and truly anarchist as the Harry series then I’m on board.

Has something in a work of fiction ever upset you enough that you wrote the author an angry letter? How about an e-mail?

Most of the fiction I read is by people I know (and it’s all been killer so far), so that hasn’t really come up. I have written emails to writers of non-fiction books letting them know all the shit they done fucked up. I’m sure they appreciate it.

Cut-off jean shorts . . .BEST LOOK EVER.

by nathan on August 24th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
I don’t know why there’s a question mark after “Dusty.” The punctuation has a mind of it’s own.

by nathan on August 24th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
Nathan, I am changing my vote on the “least needed remake” issue. You are absolutely correct that Texas Chainsaw Massacre is perfect just the way it was originally filmed.

And I have a real bad feeling about the Halloween remake, notwithstanding the fact that Rob Zombie’s directing.

by J.D. Rhoades on August 24th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Ok, movies that should be put out of their misery? All the Halloween remakes. The first one was scary enough for me. I have nightmares about things not ever being dead. So just stop the madness. Ok, but I do love Rob Zombie. I’m not sure what other slasher he worked on but I remember seeing his name.

All of the Freddies. Why can’t Hollywood leave well enough alone and just get out of the slasher business. The Hills have Eyes 2! Give me a break. Mutants eat humans, 45.

As a little girl, watching Dukes, I wanted to be just like Catherine Bach. I can’t believe she married Ringo? And I never thought cut off shorts was a fashion statement, just reality! Who buys shorts?

And Tasha, you have scared me to death as I am supposed to have a root canal and THEN two wisdom teeth and a molar removed. I’m thinking I’ll just stay home. Fighting cancer with surgury, chemo and radiation is a breeze compared to dental work.

by Lynn on August 25th, 2007 at 9:04 am
The new Texax Chainsaw Massacre wasn’t even a good idea in theory.

Lynn, you’ll be fine. If I hadn’t had the initial 45 minute fiasco, I would be in no pain right now–the spots where the rest of my wisdom teeth were are fine and healing beautifully. But that other tooth, the one that broke, had to be drilled out of my jaw, which is not business as usual.

Just make sure they knock you out; there’s no reason to be awake for any of it. Get good painkillers (and don’t be afraid to take them) and you’ll be a new woman after a week!

Are you going to an oral surgeon?

by Tasha Alexander on August 25th, 2007 at 9:15 am
Lynn, not every wisdom teeth extraction is a nightmare. Before I had mine out, I’d heard all the horror stories: you’re going to hurt like hell, your face is going to swell up to grotesque proportions, etc. I’m not going to say I was comfortable afterwards, but it was a bearable level of discomfort, especially with the help of major painkillers. And no swelling, although I did bleed like crazy. Root canal was unbearably tedious, but not all that painful.

Or maybe I just have a really high threshold of pain.

I wasn’t aware that wisdom teeth extraction could be done by anyone BUT an oral surgeon. Of course all three of mine were impacted, so that may make the difference.

by J.D. Rhoades on August 25th, 2007 at 10:50 am
Crime novel? You’re kidding! Well, I’ll be interested to see. Hey, it can only be good for the genre. Think of all the kids who are going to get hooked on crime fiction! By the time she publishes it, they’ll be grown!

And, Tasha, your teeth! Ohmigawd! I live in a terror over dentists. And so I avoid them, which means, when I do go, it’s worse! I stubbornly refuse to allow my wisdom teeth to grow. My 12 year molars didn’t poke through until I was near 28, and I have no intention of letting my wisdom teeth grow in until I’m … let’s say … 128?

Yikes. I hope you’re feeling better!

by spyscribbler on August 25th, 2007 at 9:03 pm

I Wanna Be Sedated

50 Responses to “I Wanna Be Sedated”

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